When the process of breaking something creates unformed beauty, it is incredibly satisfying.
If it also has a practical function, I'm sold. The jagged texture of the cucumber here creates
more surface area to grab onto sauce and toppings. I learned the technique while making oi
muchim, a Korean spicy cucumber salad, and have used it ever since. This version goes full
Caesar and it's totally delicious.
Smash the whole cucumbers using the flat side of a large knife until they start to break down, then roughly chop them into uneven, large bite-sized pieces. Put them in a colander over a bowl with a good pinch of salt, mix well and set aside for 15-20 minutes.
Meanwhile, toast the breadcrumbs in the olive oil in a frying pan with the garlic cloves and thyme till golden brown. Remove from the heat and season with salt and the lemon zest while hot, then set aside.
You can make the dressing in the same way as you would a mayonnaise, putting all the ingredients other than the oil into a bowl and mixing well, then slowly streaming in all the oil, whisking constantly throughout. Otherwise, blend all the ingredients at once in a blender (I often blend it). Check for seasoning.
Drain the cucumbers, then add them to the dressing with half the herbs. Mix well, then finish with the toasted breadcrumbs and the rest of the herbs.